Primary Callings....

Ok, I figured it was time for me to contribute to the Spiritual Venting blog and have been pondering this post for some time.

Moving back to Texas and into my old ward... a ward I haven't been in since I was in Young Womens... has lead to a new revelation for me. Perhaps I never realized these enlightenment's before being single and young at the time. However, I now realize that there is a conspiracy.

When a new couple moves into the ward and is young (especially the young part), there is an automatic addition to the 'who should we call to Primary' list. A week or two, maybe a month after this young couple has moved in brand new to the ward, some member of the bishopric sits them down and extends a calling to one or both of them. "Would you serve as the CTR (or Sunbeams or whichever) class for Primary?" In which, if you are a good church member, you are automatically pressed to say yes and fulfill your calling as a good LDS member.

Now, I am not saying that perhaps some of these callings are not valid and well thought out. However, sometimes I think that there isn't necessarily a good or bad choice for it and you just need someone there. And sometimes I think that the need to make young married couples want to have kids pushes them up to a first place on those lists when a little more thought should go into it. Primary is not for everyone.

In saying that, I do not feel that a couple should not ever be called to primary, but I do think there should be a few things considered before placing someone brand new into a calling such as primary....

1. In placing new ward members into Primary right away, you automatically alienate them from most of the ward. Lets face it, Primary is a demanding calling. It takes up two periods of church, in which you can not even take one moment to say hello to someone before heading off to claim your precious bought of children. So our new ward member has a much harder time meeting people. She or He does not get the opportunity to get to know people in Sunday School or Relief Society or Priesthood, because he or she is required to be in Primary. After Primary is over, you can not leave and go greet people either, at least not until all of your kids are picked up by their parents, which means that again, they miss meeting and greeting people. By the time all the kids are picked up, most of the ward has fled home for food or naps or whatever....

One might argue against this saying that they get to meet people in Primary, but this is not really the case. In sharing time, each teacher is required to sit with their class in the individual rows and therefore can not actually really get to know anyone. You certainly would be providing a bad example to the kids if you are chatting with the teacher behind or in front of you for sharing time. On top of that, if you happened to be able to do this even for a few minutes while everyone is walking in, you will still only get to meet one or two of the church members. Then you get dismissed to class where it is just you and your primary kids. Don't we want our new members to meet people and feel at home in the ward?

2. Being put in Primary does not necessarily make young couples want to have kids. There seems to be this thought that if you put a newly wed or well really any couple without children into Primary, that they will automatically love all the children in their class and will therefore want to have children based off of being there. Perhaps this is true for some couples, but for others this is perhaps the best form of birth control there could be. Some kids are just not the types to throw on couples with no kids. At the end of the day, the couple will go home and say "Well Susan is adorable, but the rest of them... We can totally wait a little longer." Or perhaps you don't say that, but you certainly are thinking it.

I propose that if as a bishop or as a Primary leader you feel the urge to call someone young and new and newly married to such a calling that you let them actually become a part of the ward first and then move them into Primary. It is a rough world out there, even in Primary, and if you have no basis of church friends to rely on, life is harder, your calling is harder, etc.

Perhaps if we made sure we fellowshiped a little better, perhaps if we were all a little more outgoing and could make new friends by just going up to them, but lets face it, that can be hard. Give the couples a break! Let them have a little fun with the ward, let them know someone, let them become part of the ward first! Then torture them with Primary! (Or bless them with Primary).

it is inspiration or desperation?

I have been made Primary President, it is not a calling I would aspire to. For some reason I keep on being put in Primary, and that bugs me. I am finally getting over my problem with it, i think it helps being in charge. Just because I have kids does not mean I want to be in primary with them. A long time ago I was put into nursery. My oldest was just barely 18 months and I had a newborn with colic. I was always told to say yes to callings, so even though I thought that was not good place to have a calling I said yes anyway. Needless to say I hated it, and I don't use that word litely. I asked to be released and it took 6 months. It ruined me. I am now hesitant to say yes to any calling. It has taken me years to finally accept that I must be a primary calling person. I just hope one day I can graduate.

reasoning

this is just my blog for my random thoughtfulness relating to the gospel. Its not meant to offend anybody, More or less things I wish I could say to others so that I don't offend anybody. so if you don't like whats being said, don't read.