it is inspiration or desperation?

I have been made Primary President, it is not a calling I would aspire to. For some reason I keep on being put in Primary, and that bugs me. I am finally getting over my problem with it, i think it helps being in charge. Just because I have kids does not mean I want to be in primary with them. A long time ago I was put into nursery. My oldest was just barely 18 months and I had a newborn with colic. I was always told to say yes to callings, so even though I thought that was not good place to have a calling I said yes anyway. Needless to say I hated it, and I don't use that word litely. I asked to be released and it took 6 months. It ruined me. I am now hesitant to say yes to any calling. It has taken me years to finally accept that I must be a primary calling person. I just hope one day I can graduate.